She’s back.

And you know what?

It’s worse than I even thought it would be.

Dear mom,

I’m not going to do this again with you. I can’t do this again. I will sooner ask Rod to kick you out than put up with anymore of your bullshit, so don’t expect me to be there for you ever fucking again. I hate your guts.

I just googled my name, my real dad’s name, and just a bunch of different things…

Turns out my real dad’s grandpa died a few years ago and they mentioned me in the obituary.

He is survived by his wife of 61 years Arlene, children, Pamela (Rich Collingwood ) North Bend, Joe ( Laura) Silverdale, Don Olympia, and Denise (George Bissell) Clarkston, 5 grandchildren Kim and Travis Kubicek, Erik, Jacob and Kendall Clotfelter and 1 great grandchild, Lindsey Eliason. 

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad 

she says she’s leaving tomorrow.

i can only pray she doesn’t.

Im tired.

my mom woke me up at like 2am and had me try to hunt down this “hacker” who “stole her email” and now im just sitting here crying because she is fucking insane and honestly believes that there are hundreds of people out there trying to hack into her emails.

andrew asked me to prom.

ipod speakers and all.

it was cute.

I’m so fucking sad right now. Oh my god.

I can’t stop crying and nothing’s right and I just wish I could kill myself. 

I could. I could do that. I don’t see things getting better for at least another two years and I absolutely cannot handle this anymore.